A Postman's Picnic
by Pencilia
Summary: Based on events that take place in MangoKat's EPIC LoZ fan-fiction series! Sakon and The Postman go on a picnic to Lake Hylia, but something weird is happening with The Postman. Can Sakon figure it out? SLASH!


DRAMATICALLY edited for withheld reasons.

1. The Post Office

The Postman and Sakon were in Termina and were at the post office in Clock Town. It was a cold night and it had been a long day of delivering letters. The Postman usually did not allow Sakon to stay over, but tonight, he did. Sakon had caught The Postman gazing at his still form, wondering the usual question.

"You sure you're not gay?" Sakon asked suddenly. He was always mocking him, saying things like that.

The Postman continued to look at him for a minute, their eyes now locked. He could tell something was different. Sakon wasn't kidding, anymore.

The Postman tried very hard to make his voice sound stern and his face look as serious as possible. He managed to get up the courage.

"No, Sakon, I'm not gay, nor will I ever be gay, and you don't have to worry about me coming on to you, because I won't."

"Oh." he simply said. If The Postman had known any better, he would of detected a hint of disappointment, but he didn't.

"You sure?" he asked again.

"Sakon, most people are pretty sure if they're gay or not."

"Some aren't."

"Well, I'm sure."

Sakon directed his gaze towards the ground, a contemplative expression on his face. It soon turned into a disconcerted one. The Postman couldn't understand what was wrong. He had said the right thing, or so he thought.

"Why do you think I pick on you?"

The Postman had an obvious answer for that. "Because you're annoying."

"Well, yes, that too," said Sakon, laughing lightly. "But... ...There's another reason."

The Postman tried to think for what that reason could be. His thoughts led him to a conclusion that seemed impossible: Sakon had to be gay. No, Sakon couldn't be gay. The Postman and he had known each other all their lives, on and on off, and in that time, he had never known the thief to chase after men. If he had seen him flirting with anyone, they were undoubtedly women. Sure, at times, it had seemed like he was flirting with him, too, but those moments had just been his imagination; a product of his perverse mind. Like right now, he had just been in his arms, half-naked, but that could all easily be explained.

The truth was, he really liked Sakon, but he would never let him know it. The Postman would continue to hold back his feelings, as long as they were together. Keeping up an indifferent facade was hard, but he knew he would have to, if only to preserve their friendship.

He could see that Sakon's expression was still dismayed. There was no point not to ask, right? He was already sure he knew the answer, and they would probably both get a good laugh out of this, later. So, The Postman asked him.

"Sakon, what are you?"

"Hmm..." murmured Sakon, the makings of a grin just beginning to form across his face. He could see where this was going, and he liked it. "Whatever do you mean by that?"

"Are you gay?" The Postman asked.

"No." he stated, matter-of-factly.

"Okay then." The Postman said, his curiosity now satiated.

"I'm bi."

Sakon gave The Postman a moment to let it sink in. His air of confidence had completely returned. The Postman, however, was completely dumbstruck, and couldn't say anything quite properly.

"I-I-wha? H-how?!"

Sakon laughed out loud. Even if he could not have The Postman, it was still fun to mess with him. Pestering him always cheered him up, and there was nothing like the truth to turn his friend to blubbering.

Finally, The Postman managed to say something coherent. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I thought it was obvious! Besides... ...You never asked."

Considering his next move, The Postman moved himself closer. Once more, their eyes met, and The Postman put both hands on his shoulders. Full of nervousness, yet not wanting to let this slip away, he closed the distance between them.

Sakon reacted by pulling him ever nearer, and kissing him back. He wrapped his arms around his neck and dug his fingers into him. As The Postman moaned into the kiss, Sakon pulled them both towards the ground, until he was lying on top of him.

Suddenly, Sakon lifted his head and simply stared down at The Postman. A dissatisfying moan escaped the Postman's lips. "Why did you stop?"

"I thought you said you weren't gay." replied Sakon, confusion written all over his face.

"I lied."

Grinning, Sakon pulled the Postman into another kiss. The Postman had had a confusing evening. He had a make-out session with his friend. They had forgotten everything that had transpired and thought only of each other from that moment on.

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Chapter 2: The Picnic

Days later, the pair was back in Hyrule. Today was Sunday, so it was his day off. He was no longer wearing his hat and his mail bag, only normal clothes that he had borrowed off of Sakon, after the thief complained he had been wearing his uniforms for too long. He was walking down the pathway to Lake Hylia, Sakon lagging far behind. He still carried his backpack, even though he was sure he would not need it. Still, being a thief, he was ever the cautious one. It was good to have, in case of an emergency. He also carried a picnic basket.

Sakon wiped the sweat from his brow with his free arm, and breathed heavily. The two had started off for the lake early this morning, and it had taken them hours just to get this far. The Postman could have run to the lake in just under one hour, if he decided to go there himself, but he didn't mind. The whole reason he wanted to go to the lake was to spend time with him.

When they arrived, The Postman looked out at the lake, stepping close to the water. The crystal-clear blue waves lapping on the shore were a welcome sight. He didn't usually get to come here, since there were so few people living at the lake, he did not need to deliver them anything. The only ones who lived there were a fisherman (on and off, of course), a scientist, a cannon-operator, and a cuccoo handler. The occasional Zora would visit, and there were many who guarded the lake, but other than them, no one.

"Hey!" yelled Sakon, from the spot they picked out. "You gonna help me set this thing up?!"

The Postman wasted no time replying. He sprinted over to him, quickly, with all intention to be of service. "Oh, you're just full of energy, aren't you?" Sakon said, not without sarcasm. He was still tired from the long walk to get there.

He began opening the basket and removed a folded blanket with red and white checkered spots. The Postman helped him unroll it.

Afterwards, The Postman sat down passively, simply happy enough to take in the sights of Lake Hylia. Sakon, however, felt quite famished, and began to unwrap the food.

Noticing this, The Postman reached for his hands and indicated, "One is for me, and one is for you."

"I know that." replied Sakon, impatiently.

With their hands still clasping, The Postman took the napkin off the food. Little white triangles with browned edges were revealed, as well as a round container. The Postman took his portion of the food, and then returned to a more relaxed position. Sakon still knelt with the napkin in his hands, realizing what The Postman had picked out for him.

It was a peanut butter and banana sandwich. A ravouness grin overtook his face. Wondering how The Postman had known what he felt like eating this morning, he took a bite, and then sprawled out on the blanket with his head resting on one arm.

The Postman now had a dream-like look on his face, which he flashed in Sakon's direction. Sakon grinned back amorously, and The Postman's countenance dropped. Sakon wondered why The Postman continued to hide his affections, after everything that happened. Every once in a while, he would go to rouse some inclinations from him, and half the time, The Postman continued to deny him.

"Hey, what's in your sandwich, anyways?" he asked The Postman. He watched as he carefully placed the morsel in front of his open mouth, wishing he was the sandwich. He would love to kiss him some more.

"Chicken and cheese." related The Postman, taking his first bite.

Sakon licked his lips eagerly, as he continued eating his own, indulging in The Postman's lunch, in more ways than one.

The Postman was off in dreamland, again, now staring at the lake, eating his sandwich at the same time. Not wanting to be ignored any longer, Sakon tried to think of something to say to get his attention. His grinned impishly, getting an idea.

"Hey, I've been thinking that we could always use some extra money around here, so I was wondering if I could become a postman, myself."

The Postman's mouth remained open in mid-bite, as his eyes grew wide with surprise, a good chunk of his half-eaten sandwich falling into his lap. "You, a postman?!" he exclaimed. He knew that if Sakon were a postman, it would mean nothing but trouble. The thief would steal the contents of packages for himself, he would switch letters around on people, just to confuse them; the list went on and on. Worst of all, he would be incredibly late for his deliveries, or refuse to show up at all, if it was too dangerous. It would be even worse than having his brother, Haru take over for him. The thought of it was simply too terrifying. Believing he was simply playing a trick on him, he asked, "Since when have you wanted to do such a thing?"

"Since I thought of it just now, actually." Sakon admitted. "I could tell your boss how helpful I've been delivering letters-Which I have-and ask for some compensation. May as well get something out of all this."

The Postman looked at Sakon questionably. "Is that the only reason why you've been spending all this time with me?"

The thief let out an exasperated sigh. "Yes, I've been following you around all this time, risking my life just so I could steal your crummy job-Not so I could be with you, or anything."

The Postman, ignoring that last comment, finished what he had to say. "It wouldn't matter, even if you asked. Each postman is assigned their own route. You couldn't come with me, anymore, since you would be busy with your own."

Quickly finishing his sandwich, Sakon stood up and gazed out at the lake for the first time. "Wanna go swimming?" he asked The Postman, cheerfully.

The Postman had been opening the lid to the container, of what appeared to be coleslaw, when Sakon had asked him this. "Don't you know you're not supposed to go swimming right after you eat?"

Sakon threw his hands up in irritation. "You are such a stick-in-the-mud! Don't you want to have a little fun, for once?"

"I am having fun." The Postman regarded Lake Hylia for what Sakon thought must've been the millionth time that day, and then said, "Alright."

"Yes! Finally!"

"But if I get a stomach cramp, it'll be your fault."

Sakon hurriedly removed his clothing before The Postman could change his mind, leaving nothing on but his undergarments. Then, he watched as The Postman took off his shorts and his white shirt, his bare chest now glistening in the sunlight. Catching the thief's glances, The Postman frowned again, and then his face quickly returned to normal. Sakon was about to ask The Postman why he kept doing that, when he shouted, "Race you!" and bolted towards the water.

Knowing he would never be able to catch up with The Postman even if he tried, yet still wanting to get to the water as fast as possible, Sakon ran after him.

He jumped into the waves with a loud splash, drenching The Postman wet. The Postman wiped a bit of water from his face. Sakon, seeing this, splashed again-this time on purpose. The Postman faintly splashed him with the back of hand. "Stop doing that." he urged, obviously annoyed.

Sakon dove far under the water, until The Postman couldn't see him anymore. He sighed gratifyingly, thinking he finally had a chance to relax.

Sakon swam around, trying to amuse himself, when he spotted a group of fish. He swam after one of them, as fast as he could, thinking he could catch one with his hands. Soon, the fish caught eye of him, too, and scattered in all directions. Sakon almost caught a small one, but its silver scales slipped through his fingers, joining the others.

He was swimming just underneath The Postman, when another idea popped into his head. He swam upwards, hoping his body would quietly break the surface. He inhaled a bit of fresh air before putting his plan into action. He was now wadding in the water, directly behind The Postman, hoping to splash him again, when The Postman turned, catching him in a headlock.

"Ah! Let go!" screamed Sakon, slightly in pain.

"Not until you stop trying to splash me!" The Postman commanded.

Sakon was pissed that The Postman was holding him like this, but it allowed him to take a good look at him, again. His eyes wandered to The Postman's face, and he saw his angry expression. Grinning amorously, he lifted his arms upwards, pulling The Postman into a kiss.

Having not expected this attention at the moment, and not having enough time to pull away, The Postman released his tight grip on Sakon, too flustered to do anything.

A young male Zora surfaced his head from the lake. He looked out on the lake delighted, when he spotted the two out the corner of his eye. The Zora, who had been speechless during the whole thing, gave them an obviously disgusted look, then disappeared under the water. Sakon felt a tug on his leg. He saw The Postman's body lurch forward, and felt him grab him harder, as well as whatever else had a hold on him.

A small army of Zoras popped out of the water, in full-body armour. Masks and helmets covered their faces and heads, as well as terrifyingly angry stares. Two of them now held the pair tightly in their grasps. The male Zora from earlier was there with them, wadding next to a Zora with red armour, instead of blue. The red-armoured Zora stepped on top of a near-by rock, in an attempt to get everyone's attention. All eyes fell on him. He carried himself in a stately, composed matter, considering the situation. He coughed into his fist, prepared to speak. The Postman stopped to listen, while Sakon still squirmed.

"For your crimes," began the Zora in charge. "You will be taken past the Royal Family's throne room, and forced to... ...Well, you'll see when we get there."

Sakon stopped his thrashing long enough to say something himself.

"It's not fair! We didn't do anything!"

The head guard flashed him a look of death. "You are being punished for attempting to pollute our beautiful Lake Hylia with your-Well, you know."

"We weren't doing that!"

"We know you were about to."

The Postman, meanwhile, was calm. He had an idea about what they they were talking about, and it involved the giant fish, Jabu Jabu. "Sakon," he said. "Just do as they say."

"Are you insane?!"

The red-armoured Zora decided at that moment to stomp his flipper, and the rest of his men gave him a solute. He saluted them back, and then dived head first, under the waves.

The other Zoras began to follow him, including the male Zora from earlier. The Postman watched as Sakon disappeared along with them, and soon it was his turn.

The Postman held his breath, not fighting as they took them to a small hole, each Zora entering into it. Sakon began thrashing hard, again, trying feebly to get away.

The Zora guard who held them struggled against his violent escape attempts, motioning another guard to come and help him. At this rate, The Postman was afraid they would drown before making it to their domain. He had no choice but to help the thief escape with him.

He struggled against his own bonds relentlessly. The Postman finally managed to wriggle free of the Zoras' grip. He swam over to Sakon, as fast as he could, water bubbling behind him, much like his trail of dust, whenever he raced across Hyrule Field.

The group of Zoras fighting to control Sakon turned to face The Postman. The Postman quickly grabbed him, and then swam as fast as possible upwards. The Zoras thought he looked an awful lot like a torpedo.

The Postman resurfaced. The Zoras, however, were not far behind and soon surfaced themselves. The Postman's eyes darted to the left and right. Then he did the only thing he knew he could do. The thing he was born to do. He ran.

Sakon knew The Postman was holding him, and that he was running. He heard an enormous amount of splashing behind them, and glanced over The Postman's shoulder to see what it was. His eyes opened wide, more surprised than he had ever been in his life. The Zoras were far off in the distance, waving their harpoons in anger. This did not, however, concern him. Gigantic waves trailed behind The Postman's feet, on either side of each leg. A small, long dip was made in between the two billows, also in the wake of his stride. The Postman was running on top of the water.

They arrived at the beach, The Postman gently placing Sakon on the sand. "Are you alright?" he asked Sakon, concern evident as he spoke.

Sakon, mouth agape, somehow managed to say, "Y-yes, I'm fine,"

Relieved, The Postman quickly helped him to his feet, and then started running, again. Sakon's priorities were mixed up and he grabbed the picnic food. The Postman stopped, his heels making a skid mark in the sand. "Just run!" he yelled back.

Just as he found the rest of their clothing, the Zoras had caught up with him. They were now on the beach coming after, as fast as ever, the red-armoured Zora, now in the lead. He pulled a non-lethal bomb out of his backpack, thanking himself for deciding to take it with him, in the first place. He waited until the Zoras came closer, and then lit the fuse.

"Take that you overgrown sushi!" he triumphantly exclaimed, fleeing in the other direction.

The Zoras stopped giving chase, as the red-armoured Zora threw out his arms to both sides. "Halt!" he ordered. The only thing he had enough time to think about was that the two men were going to get away. The fuse was almost down to nothing before he gave his next command. "Retreat!"

The bomb burst with a destructive bang. Any Zora who didn't have enough time to get away found their masks and helmets had flung off of their bodies in the path of the explosion. They fell on the sand, though not quite as hard as they thought they would. Those who did get away continued running towards the lake.

The red-armoured Zora, whose armour wasn't red, anymore, stood up from his fall. His armour had been singed a burnt black. Being the only one to still have his mask on, he threw the blackened hunk of metal into the sand, in shear anger. None of his men, as far as he could see, were mortally harmed, but he doubted they would want to continue in their chase. Still, he would make them. There were other Zoras at the exit to Lake Hylia. They caught The Postman and then caught Sakon just as they came to the gate and watch tower. The chase was over.

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"I can't believe we're stuck feeding some stinky fish!" yelled Sakon.

The punishment for polluting Lake Hylia was apparently feeding Lord Jabu Jabu. This was hard, though, because the fish-god tended to accidentally eat anyone in the way. While shoveling fish into the bigger fish's belly, The Postman and Sakon had gotten swallowed five times.

"Quiet!" hushed The Postman. "Do you want us to get into more trouble?"

Sakon's punishment also included the cleaning of the blackened-armoured Zora's armour. He was doing it now. They were both given blue tunics so that they would be able to breathe if Jabu Jabu sucked in some water.

"Scrub that armour good, bomb-boy." said the lead Zora. He was watching them work.

Sakon decided to escape his duties so he could laze about and do nothing. Also, maybe steal something. They had removed Sakon's bag, but he had a water-proof bomb stashed up his sleave. He swam out to the island on the other side. He threw a bomb behind himself.

Now knowing it was safe enough to look back on at his handiwork, Sakon glimpsed over his shoulder, seeing the hatred-filled eyes of the ashen-armoured Zora. He grinned impishly, feeling quite proud of the way his weapon had allowed him to elude capture from them. Then he felt the air at his heels, and regretted having looked back. He fell downwards, the earth swallowing him up, not a fish.

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Chapter 3: The Story

Sakon woke up with a dull pain in his head. He rubbed his temples, standing up, and then blinked his eyes, looking around. A small white platform lay on the ground behind him, and a bright light shined through, all the way to the ceiling. It was too bright for him to see all the way to the top.

He remembered he and the Postman were being chased, the fish-feeding, then he had fallen, yet he didn't see how that would allow him to end up in this place. He put his hand to his chin in worry. He wondered if The Postman had gotten away to safety. Then again, he could run pretty fast. He had no trouble both outrunning the Zoras and himself.

Small black and yellow butterflies danced in the air, just above him. They flew in circles around the platform, not wanting to fly into the dimness that surrounded every other spot in the area. Sakon eyed one of the butterflies suspiciously, thinking he had seen that exact kind of butterfly before, but he couldn't quite place it.

As he put on his clothes, turning around, he peered into the dimness. Cobwebs lined the walls and ceiling. The ground felt damp beneath his feet; as if he wasn't already wet enough. Then he saw a small wooden box sitting in the farthest corner of the room. It was a chest. He had fallen into a treasure hole.

"Jackpot!" he cried, wasting no time to open it. He hadn't quite slipped on his clothing all the way, yet, and he tripped on his pant leg, falling yet again. Finally at the chest, Sakon rubbed his hands greedily, but then his expression fell, as he realized it was already open.

"Not even a single rupee." he sighed in dismayment.

His attention span broken, he re-examined his surroundings closely. He pondered on whether or not this would make a good hide-out. He would have to plant a bush near the entrance, but stashing his loot here would certainly be convenient. Then again, he had fallen into the treasure hole by accident, so there was always a chance someone else would. It would have to be a rock he would plant, and he would have to make sure only he could remove it, much like his other hide-outs. His thoughts were interrupted, as a man fell from the ceiling. Knowing who it already was, Sakon stepped forward to greet him.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine." The Postman replied. "I brought a rock down here. I put it on the platform. It'll block the Zoras from getting in. While they tell the king about it, we can go."

He looked around the room, attempting to change the subject. Noticing the empty treasure chest, The Postman brought it up.

"So, did you get lucky?"

Knowing an empty chest was behind him, Sakon answered, "Naw, somebody beat me to it."

"Who's they?"

Sakon crossed his arms not entirely all that interested. "Ah, adventurers, heroes, other thieves. Besides," he said. "it doesn't matter, as long as you're safe."

The Postman smiled back for the first time that day. Sakon was happy he was not trying to hide his feelings any longer. Still, this lead him to want answers to more questions.

"You know, you've been acting pretty strange all day."

"Oh, I have?" answered The Postman. He expected him to say something like this at some point, but was reluctant to tell him.

"For one thing, it's like you've been avoiding me. You kept frowning at me."

"I was nervous." The Postman stated truthfully.

Sakon looked him over curiously. "Also, call me paranoid, but I think you must be psychic or something."

"I'm not psychic, Sakon."

"Oh! You're not, huh?" began Sakon, as he went through the list of that day's events. "Well then how did you know where I was, when I snuck up so quietly behind you in the water?"

"I always know where people are."

Sakon wasted no time pointing out his next observation. "The sandwich! You can't deny the sandwich! This morning, I don't know why, but I was craving a peanut butter and banana sandwich. I don't know why; I just did. I didn't have any food on me, and I figured I'd be eating with you soon, anyways, so I skipped breakfast. Low and behold, we get to the lake, and you've packed me a peanut butter and banana sandwich! How can you deny that? It's too vague."

The Postman waited patiently until Sakon was finished before speaking. He knew that he was going to have to tell him this at some point. He just didn't think it would be this soon. He wasn't as worried as he was, last time, though. He had already told him so much, and their relationship was better for it. It might be alright to tell him the rest.

"You might want to sit down. This could take a while."

"Yeah, yeah. Just tell me your story. The Zoras'll be here any second."

"A long time ago," began The Postman. "There was another postman. This particular postman could also tell where people were no matter where they were, as soon as he needed to. This made his deliveries faster, and it was what made him such a great postman. All of the postman have this ability of course, but what he didn't have, was the ability to know another's emotions."

Sakon's brow raised in scrutiny. "What do you mean?"

"Then, one day, the postman met a girl."

"You're not talking about us, are you?"

"No, I'm not," The Postman lectured. "Not yet, anyways. I said this was another postman, didn't I? Now, let me finish."

With his interest piqued more than before, Sakon allowed him to continue.

"The postman and the girl became very close to each other. The girl followed him everywhere the postman went. The girl even went on all of his deliveries with him, no matter how far, or how dangerous. The postman found that he had strong feelings towards the girl, but he was afraid what she would think if she knew. So, for a time, he kept his emotions deep inside."

"You still do that, a lot." interrupted Sakon.

"Today had nothing to do with that, I already told you." The Postman assured. "You going to stop me, again?"

"No, keep going!"

"Alright. Well, one day, the postman, one way or another, summoned up the courage to tell her how he felt. The girl told the postman she felt the same way. He was happy. More happy than he had ever felt in his entire life. He then could tell that she felt happy, too. The postman didn't even need the girl to say how she felt, or what she wanted, he just knew. You see, this other postman and the girl were actually my mother and father."

"I figured as much."

"Feeling another's emotions becomes a natural part of a postman's life. This happens to all the postman when..."

"When...?" Sakon eagerly asked.

The Postman stopped his story. This is what he had been waiting for. The Postman had asked Sakon if he was gay, but he had never asked him the most important question. He knew though, that in the end, he would have to finish his story.

"...When they are in love."

Sakon grinned at him, positively beaming. Then he replied the thing The Postman wanted to hear the most. "I love you, too!"

Then, The Postman knew. He didn't even need Sakon to tell him. He knew the moment his story was finished that he loved him back. He let Sakon's love for him wash over him like the waters of Lake Hylia. He basked in that love until Sakon chimed in with something else.

"Wait a minute! That's why you were so nervous at the picnic!"

"Mmm, what do you mean?" murmured the Postman as he came out of his love-high.

"I was planning to do it with you, today! Anyway, that's why you were so nervous. You kept "feeling" how much I wanted it."

"Well, yes..."

Sakon thought this over, for a moment. The Postman would feel nervous if he was around someone who he knew was ready, half the time. He wouldn't, but The Postman would. Sakon instantly re-imagined the whole picnic scene in his mind, this time shouting, "I want to do it, I want to do it!" in The Postman's face, throughout the whole thing. Yes, he could definitely see why The Postman would be nervous.

Then his thoughts trailed to the entire matter, in general. He had a friend-boyfriend, now more accurately-who knew exactly what he felt, or whatever he wanted, the very moment he wanted it. As long as it was within reason, he was also willing to please. "Goddesses, I'm lucky!"

His thoughts coming to an end, Sakon noticed the light from the ceiling was getting dimmer. Knowing the day was nearing its end, he stood up, preparing to go. He felt exhausted from the days' events, but he knew that if they didn't leave soon, they wouldn't be home the Zoras came back.

Hand in hand, the two men stepped forward onto the white platform, the warm magical light elevating them up to the surface.

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Hey, there. Thanks again, for reading. Now, READ MANGOKAT'S SERIES! It's EPIC!


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